how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
