ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
time to smoke my breakfast
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
