1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
