Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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