She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
