how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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