I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is the high leading the old right now
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
