You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
