just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
