I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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