We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
