after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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