She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
