Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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