it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
