she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
