so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
