Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
