Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
