its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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