Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
