Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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