He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
