Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
