Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
