Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
