I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
