I'm lost and stupid without you.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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