Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
