Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
