Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
