I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The adults are the big ones right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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