My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
