Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
