Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
