There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
