I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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