But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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