Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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