just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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