Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
