last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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