party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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