I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
