Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
