Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
