please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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