So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
