she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
