I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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